Going on a first date is a deal breaker.

You have to be mysterious, but still, share enough about yourself.  There are so many things to take into consideration, but if you know what is going on in his mind, it brings you right into play.

Here is a piece of his mind:

Does she always talk this much?

We know the weirdest thing about a first date is awkward silence … kriek kriek. We would say absolutely anything to fill those gaps.  This leads to obsessive, compulsive talking in such a way that the poor thing cannot find a parking space for his words.  Either that or we hit him with a million questions and it feels like a job interview.

Guys have a low threshold for chatter and gossiping.

Rather ask open-ended, meaningful questions and give him a chance to take control of the silence.

Can I afford her?

For goodness sake, stick to medium priced items.  You don’t have to order a Drink O’Pop and half a side salad, but don’t think you are being a classy girl by ordering some French Champaign.

If you can’t pronounce it, don’t order it!

Dudes hear the ching-ching in their heads, and start working out what amount you are going to add to his expenses.

Stay classy, but check out the prices before you order.  Don’t take pictures of your food for social media and for crying out loud, don’t just order a green salad – you are not turning into a Playboy bunny in one night!

What is she going to post on Facebook?

Yes, men worry about social media too!  Why Facebook wants to know what’s on everyone’s minds, is really a risky topic.  They are exposing some crazy mind power into the world.

So, while he is sitting there, checking you out and deciding if he would like to see you again, he is thinking – is she going to check us in? What is she going to say? Not the selfie stick!!!

Don’t be on your phone during your first date! Don’t even show him a photo or anything on your phone.  Just to be safe from that unsolicited WhatsApp pop-up notification from your friend, saying, “Is he as ugly as his profile picture?”

Can I take her home to mom?

First, they wonder how you look naked, then they have these innocent schoolboy thoughts about how you will do on a field trip to meet mom.  Mama’s approval starts with him.

Don’t hit the F-bombs and the cleavage, you might spark his interest, but the Mama-trip in his mind will send you to detention.

Can she hang with my Buddies?

If this answer is ‘no’, he will be the outcast in the friendship corner, he will be granted limited time with his friends (if ever), he’ll have to give up rugby, braai and a beer or 2. Well, at least, that is what his mind is telling him.

He is furiously trying to picture how you will fit into his life without being a burden.

So, be your calm and collected self and show him that you are a fun person with a great sense of humour and an easygoing attitude.  If he thinks his pals will dig your presence, you are halfway to your second date!

Can I make a move?

Even the biggest gentleman, is thinking… sex, sex, sex.  Although he is respectful and won’t make his move on the first date, believe me, while you are telling him about your hometown and childhood pet, he is creating other animal stories in his head.

Although he behaves, he is still looking for a hint whether you feel the same chemistry. Give him a flirty smile or a touch on the arm to let him know that you feel it too.  Not too much – this can seem needy and give you a horrible reputation.

Remember that you are still in control of your own life.

If your intuition tells you that something is off on the first date, you better listen to your God-given talent.  You have the freedom to choose who you will spend tomorrow with.  If he is not the guy, you have to do it the Johnnie Walker way.

If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, it means nobody liked them; set them free again.

Don’t sweat the small stuff on a first date.  He won’t notice that your hair has regrowth, half the size of an Ombre, or that your nails have tip-ex ‘French manicure’, he is more interested in enjoying the night, laughing, getting to know you and having fun.  Believe me, if you ask him what you were wearing on your first date, 2 years later, he won’t even remember!

Good luck on your next first date!

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