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Affairs … Obviously, the world tells us that the grass is greener on the other side (bull, it’s because that grass is fake), and we get told that it’s because you don’t take care of yourself anymore and you don’t support your husband and you and you and you and you. So, everyone says it’s my fault??

What I didn’t understand, was… I was at home, praying for my husband, helping him, boosting him, managing his business, running errands, running my own companies, complimenting him, communicating, treating, loving, you name it, it did it – even more so when I self-diagnosed his affair as a midlife crisis. But no matter what I did, he never seemed to notice anything.

Yeah – so what’s up with that?

One thing was for sure – I was not going to fall in the pit of self-blame, I was praying too hard to lose my own track in life.

When I found out about my husband’s affair, I was shocked, because first of all, I couldn’t believe that he would do that to me, and second of all, the type of woman he picked to have an affair with…well, I feel embarrassed for his sake.

So, I struggled with finding the reason why men would cheat and lower their standards. That is more like eating the crap on the other side of the fence, instead of the grass.

I had an open conversation with my husband who gave me insights into this and finally, it made sense. Today I am sharing it with you! And a big shout out to my husband who changed his life around and he is on a mission to help other men who are about to fall down the pit of hell.

Life at home is filled with responsibilities. Work, marriage, kids, finances, you name it. At some time, they start to overwhelm and as life rolls over, you lose control over your responsibilities. Your reality is not as picturesque as you had imagined it to be. It is usually too much effort to fix this, so they enter a virtual reality where they are the superhero and they can lie about who they are and what they have.

〈Faking is easier than facing〉

So, what do you do… you find ANYONE to share a fake life with. With anyone I mean, usually a woman that will not reject you and make you feel even worse. You go after that woman with the affair reputation or the one with no values or self-worth or respect. They are easy targets and when she ‘gives in’, it gives your ego a boost.

Now they start with this virtual world. In this world, they will create stories that are so far from the truth. In this world, they are successful, rich, the ultimate husband, the flirt, the spender, the romantic etc. This woman will believe everything, and if she happens to find out it’s not the truth, she just moves on to the next. She’s got nothing to lose.

In this virtual reality, he will tell this woman that he will be an amazing partner for her (while cheating on his wife as he is sitting in front of her) #spot_the_lie

He gets addicted to this world where he will not be caught out for failing in his business or failing to be a great husband or father or caretaker. He will flirt, give up his time, money and all he can, because it is going down anyway. The only place where he is a success, is in his newly created virtual world. He will paint a picture of how in love he is with this woman, #REALITY_CHECK, it is not true, he is in love with the ‘escape’ from his responsibilities and he will tell any lie, not to have to face the honest and loyal life.

The moment he enters that zone – He opened his life to Satan who is warming his hands at the fire. She makes it look like a fairytale and then sucks you right into hell.

A live wire may create a spark, but if you step over the line, it will burn you to death.

I sent my husband a Joel Osteen video  (Joel Osteen  – Rest from your Enemies) and it changed his life. He gave his life to Christ and he realized that the only way you can battle the darkness, is with light.

He turned his life around and started to look at his own life. He missed so many opportunities, he overlooked so many precious moments. The reality in his mind was horrific, but when he opened his heart, his life was actually the fairytale he was looking for, he just overlooked it when the devil stood in front of it.

If you want Heaven at home, treat your wife like an angel. Maybe if the cheating husbands will treat their wives like they treat the devil’s disciples’ aka Jezebel, they will be amazed by the wife they married and her capabilities to love.

Once these men turn their lives around, they will go through phases, and if you choose to walk this path with them, be patient. He will have to work through Regret, Anger, Disappointment, Hate etc. I will help you out with those steps on other blog posts.

Point is – if you know why it happens, you can bring him back to reality and save him.

“God will never send you someone else’s husband/wife – if someone approaches you, it is satan who is knocking on your door’

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