You are broken, that’s why it’s called a breakup, but what now, you ask?

You never thought this breakup would happen, and it did. Suddenly you are Baby in the corner and everyone else is taken. You rerun all the known phrases like “I’ll never get over this person”, or the ever-popular: “I’ll always be single.”

So where do you start after the breakup? 

Cry! Yes, you can! You are sad and you have some built-up emotions in need of a place to escape. Arm yourself with all the essentials like some wine, comfort food, self-pity, and tissues. Give those tears freedom, but when you are done, shake it off and go to step 2!

Get rid of them!

(Photo’s, social media, hangout places, you name it.)

If you were on a diet and you got this extreme craving for a bar of chocolate… you walk up to the fridge, open the door and there it is! A chocolate right in front of your eyes! What are you going to do?

Same goes for your ex! That out of sight, out of mind thing is no BS. It is as real as this conversation.

If there weren’t any chocolates in the fridge, you wouldn’t have walked up to it in the first place. You punish yourself. Do not create temptations in your life that will make every step even more difficult. Get rid of the kilos – in this case, the 100kg that is weighing you down! If you are constantly in their face, they have the best of both – freedom and a booty call.

And a silent tip – if you block them first – you can unblock them first ?

Don’t make any big decisions!

(Tattoos, revenge, texts, calls)

You might be tempted to permanently stain your skin with the chorus of your favourite Bon Jovi song. Or to drive right up your ex and give them a piece of your mind in front of their co-workers.

Let me tell you why you shouldn’t! An eagle doesn’t kill a snake on the ground – it takes it up in the air, to its own familiar ground where the snake has no power. Then it kills it. Negative attention is still attention and if you give negative attention to your ex, you bring yourself to their level while you are trying to fight on their home grounds.

Rather soar above the rest.

Renovate!

(Spring clean, throw out, burn, box, give to charity)

Get rid of all the reminders! Put your ex’s stuff in a box (you are decent, remember), and leave the box with someone else. Take some time and take some inspiration from Pinterest and add a bit of DIY to your home. It will feel fresh and new and help you feel accomplished.

Wipe your memories to the best of your abilities. Keeping a picture of you two hanging against the wall as an excuse to keep the flies out, is a lame excuse. And while you are busy revamping your life. Give your iPod or any music device a makeover too.

Date yourself!

(Solo date, go out, stay in, be you)

This is your make or break! This phase will determine how long you will take to get over your ex and your breakup. Don’t jump into a relationship or recycle your exes. You have to get to know yourself, otherwise, your next relationship will be exactly the same. If you don’t learn the lesson, otherwise every partner hereafter will only be a rewrite, until you pass.

Get to know yourself, pretty soon someone valuable is going to come along, and they are going to want to know who you are and what you like, and dislike – and you’d better know the answers. It will be mildly humiliating if they get to know you, better than you!

Just get through today!

(Forget tomorrow, next week, and even last week.)

You only have enough energy to conquer ONE day! Don’t use up all your energy by reliving the past, this will only make you feel tired today. Don’t worry about the future, because worrying will not create anything positive. Take it one day at a time. If you survived today, well done! Do the same tomorrow!

Be around funny things!

(Funny friends, funny YouTube videos, funny lasting memories)

So what did you do? You googled articles and blogs and videos, searching for answers to questions from yet another professional claiming to know what you are feeling right now (kind of like this article you got right here).

Instead of focussing on the depressing stuff like: “How to move on after a breakup” or “Do they still love me” or “How to start revenge“, I would suggest you turn more in the direction of something funny that will make you laugh. Surround yourself with funny people who will bring more happy guests like endorphins, dopamine, and serotonin.

Now stop reading this article (actually, thanks for sticking it out) and go make some immediate changes in your life.

You are just going THROUGH a breakup – you are not IN a breakup. So stay strong. This will pass too and pretty soon, you will have your life back and this will be a thing of the past!

Hang in there, you precious one!

Read more of my articles for BLOSS Magazine here

Make sure your next date is not with a narcissist – watch the video here